Of Handbooks and Head Elves
by Rosebud5
Summary: Set a few years before "The Santa Clause 2," this is a little oneshot about Bernard coming to visit Judy at the North Pole Cafe and telling her about the newest nuisance in his life-The Number Two Elf: Curtis. The rest is a suprise! MERRY CHRISTMAS, ALL!


Hola, amigos!! Sorry...I've been in Spanish too long! XD

Anywho, it's almost Christmas!!! Huzzah!! Christmas is my most favoritest holiday and I seriously obsess over it!! I make my room look like the North Pole and I watch all the Christmas movies and do all the Christmas-y stuff you could possibly think of...but you don't care about that. =D Well, this is a fic about Bernard the head elf from _The Santa Clause_, which is my favorite Christmas movie (and my favorite elf, besides! *Dreamy sigh...*) This is my first Bernard fic in a while because I really didn't like my last ones....Bernard seemed so OOC and those fics will NEVER show their faces on here! Heh... Well I guess all I can say is R&R and merry Christmas!!

Disclaimer: I am not Disney, hence I own nothing. ^^

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**Of Handbooks and Head Elves**

Judy, the hot cocoa making elf, watched contentedly as the elves from the after-work rush hour left the North Pole cafe, smiling and chatting, toting hot cocoa to-go cups and candy canes. Judy couldn't imagine doing anything else at the Pole other than running the cafe and she loved it. Smiling, she turned around and began to clean the kitchen equipment.

Suddenly, she heard the bell on the cafe door jingle merrily as someone entered the room. Curiously, she turned around. She was surprised to find Bernard, the head elf, walking towards her, looking tired and more than slightly ticked off. He stumbled over to the bar and flopped down on a stool, taking off his green beret, sending hundreds of thousands of raven black curls springing wildly atop his head. He put his head on the table top, tossing the beret aside. "Hey Judy," he grumbled, sounding even more grumpy than usual, his voice muffled by the table.

"Hey, Bernard," Judy replied gently. "What can I get ya?"

"Your biggest cup of cocoa, six shots of chocolate, and how many marshmallows can you fit in one cup?"

"Thirteen."

"Gimme fourteen."

The entire workshop seemed to come to a stand-still. The passing elves froze and looked into the cafe in shock, whispers of "Bernard broke the rules" floating amongst them.

Scowling, Bernard swerved around and glared at the elves, crossing his arms. "Yeah, I asked for fourteen. Wanna make something of it?"

Shyly, the elves looked away and hurried on their own ways, knowing better than to bother Bernard when he was at his grumpiest.

"Hard day at work?" Judy asked gingerly, turning and beginning to work on Bernard's order.

"Is it that obvious?" the sarcasm was heavy in Bernard's voice as he wearily put his head in his hands and then rubbed his eyes.

"Tell me about it," Judy insisted.

"I guess you'll find out about it sooner or later, anyway," Bernard snarled. "You know Curtis?"

"The kid-elf who's obsessed with the handbook? Yeah," Judy nodded, putting the cup in front of Bernard.

"Yeah," Bernard frowned, taking the cup and downing it in five and a half gulps. "Hit me again," he said, handing the cup back. "Please," he added off of Judy's look.

"What about Curtis?" Judy asked, taking the cup and starting another batch of cocoa.

"Well, Santa called me into his office today and told me that I had been 'over-working myself' and needed 'help'," he said, doing quotation marks in the air with his fingers. "I told him I was fine and didn't want any help, but he wouldn't leave me alone about it. So he told me he had hired a Number Two Elf."

"What?!" Judy gasped. "We've never had a Number Two Elf in the history of the North Pole!"

"Yeah. He's like my understudy, to be perfectly frank," Bernard grouched as Judy put the second cup of cocoa in front of him. He picked the cup up and swirled the drink a few times before taking a gulp. "And Curtis is the Number Two Elf. My understudy!" At this, Bernard slammed the cup down, causing the hot drink to spill over the sides and burn his hands. "Frost bite!" he cursed, yanking his hands back in pain.

Judy gasped at his profane language but handed him a cloth, which he used furiously to wipe his hands. "Bernard, watch your language!" she scolded.

"Sorry," he rolled his eyes, tossing the cloth back to Judy. "It's just..." his anger almost seemed to dissolve into hurt. "I feel like the Big Guy's tryin' to replace me. I do _not _over work myself...I only work until one o'clock in the morning...and that's on a slow day!"

"Bernard," Judy sighed, taking his now-empty cup and working on a third refill, "Maybe having Curtis there will take a load off your back. With Christmas in a month, a wee bit of stress-relief might be just what you need."

"Yeah, right. The kid does one thing wrong and-" he did an exaggerated gasp and put his hands to his cheeks. "Stress! No, no. Curtis will just be more of a problem than a solution to anything!"

Judy had to chuckle at Bernard's act and put the cup in front of him again. He looked at it, as if wondering weather to drink it or not, and then he snatched it up and chugged it down, almost choking because it was so hot. Coughing, he put the cup down and shook his head, choking out "I think I better not have another." He cleared his throat and said, "I better get back to work. I gotta prove to the Big Guy we don't need a stinkin' Number Two Elf."

Judy nodded sympathetically and removed the cup, putting it in the sink behind her. Bernard began to reach into his satchel for payment, but Judy stopped him. "It's on the house," she smiled.

"Okay," he smiled wearily. He grabbed his beret and shoved it on his head and then got to his feet, turning to face Judy. "And Judy?"

"Yeah Bernard?"

"Thanks."

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Yay!! Bernard managed to stay in character the whole time! I think...O_o

Anywho, no, Judy and Bernard aren't in love...only very good friends. (So far...Who knows what the future holds?) But please, please, please....**REVIEW**!!! After all, Bernard's on my side! ;D

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! (I'm planning on having an _Oliver Twist/Christmas Carol _Christmas crossover story soon...keep an eye out for that, my dears!)


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